Reluctance
by Dali93
Summary: Two years have passed & Gemma goes to France to visit Felicity. There she meets Henry Bingley, an artist who falls imediately for her while Gemma is trying to heal from Kartik but at the same time not betray him with these feelings she has for another man
1. Preface

_Disclaimer: All the characters from past Gemma Doyle Series books belong to Libba Bray. Those I have created are mine._

_A/N: This is my first short story ever and I have little experience in writting or grammar so please humor me. I felt very passionate of this book and the characters that I felt the story should continue with Gemma's life after Kartik is gone and how she copes and deals with it. I hope you enjoy._

_**Reluctance**_

_Out through the fields and the woods  
And over the walls I have wended;  
I have climbed the hills of view  
And looked at the world, and descended;  
I have come by the highway home,  
And lo, it is ended._

_The leaves are all dead on the ground,  
Save those that the oak is keeping  
To ravel them one by one  
And let them go scraping and creeping  
Out over the crusted snow,  
When others are sleeping._

_And the dead leaves lie huddled and still,  
No longer blown hither and thither;  
The last long aster is gone;  
The flowers of the witch-hazel wither;  
The heart is still aching to seek,  
But the feet question 'Whither?'_

_Ah, when to the heart of man  
Was it ever less than a treason  
To go with the drift of things,  
To yield with a grace to reason,  
And bow and accept the end  
Of a love or a season?_

**Robert Lee Frost**

**Preface**

**Kartik**

Time stands still. For me nothing else exists. For so long I longed for a sense of purpose, and now that I have it I feel…nothing. I am _nothing_ without her. It is my entire fault. If I had never entered the realms none of this would have probably ever happened. But in my mind I hear her sweet voice telling me, _There is never any turning back. You have to move forward._

I will fight to _exist_ just to be back in her arms, to see her smile, to feel her touch. But I feel that is a lost cause for I fear I will never escape from this prison I am in. I have begged it for months to let me free but it will not. The tree must have a heart, a soul. But I will never give up. I let her go and now I must pay the price.

_Please let me go. I need to see her, to be with her,_ I plead_._

_That can never happen._ It says harshly.

_Please, _I beg, _I will do anything; give anything up just to see her._

_Is that so? _It says questionably.

_Yes…just please. I cannot live without her._

_Well then Kartik, are you prepared to lose everything?_

I do not know what it is telling me. I had already "lost everything" in general sense. But I do not care, I would walk through hell to change all this.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**1898**

**Paris, France**

Upon my arrival in France I have only one thing to say so far. The drivers here are notoriously awful. Either that or my coachman is blind, deaf, and dumb and has lost all control of his horses.

"Excusez-moi Mademoiselle, mais quel était le nom de cette rue encore?" The absentminded coachman asked. I quickly pulled out the letter that Felicity had sent me a couple months ago.

_Dear Gemma,_

_I am so ecstatic to hear that you will come to Paris to visit me! You will absolutely just love it here. Life as an artist's model is never boring as so you can imagine. I cannot wait for you to meet Alice and her brother, Henry Bingly. You will love them just as much as I do. We live on 68 Gassendi Street. Again, I wait with baited breath for your arrival._

_Your dearest friend,_

_Felicity_

I quickly told the coachman the address and then he continues his mad driving. Thank goodness I still remember some of the French that Mademoiselle LeFarge taught, or should I say Mrs. Stanton Hornsby Kent as she is now called since her marriage to Inspector Kent. They have been married two years now. I slowly turn my head to look out the window and see a young man with dark brown curls. My heart starts to race as I think of _him_, but then it quickly dies down as I realize it cannot be him. And it also has been two years since that final battle in the realms where I lost the man I love to the realms forever. All the memories of the realms and Kartik come flooding back into my head, those memories which I said I would forget. Just as the tears start to swell in my eyes the coachman comes to a jolting halt and announces our arrival. I step out of the carriage and pay the coachman and then he drives speedily off down into the night.

--

House 68 on Gassendi Street is a sight to see. Let me just say that it is not particularly the house I would expect Felicity to live in. The brick house was a rather small thing, but well kept with a little garden off the side of the house. Slowly, I gather my things and head for the door not quite knowing what exactly to expect. I take a deep breath and knock on the door and only a few seconds later I am welcomed by a new face that I assumed would be Alice.

"Hello! You must be Miss Gemma. Please, please come in," said Alice in a friendly manner. Alice Bingley is a cheerful person who you would probably never find frowning. She has beautiful brown hair, twisted into a loose bun at the nape of her neck, and bright brown eyes that grow even brighter when smiling. Alice led me into the parlor where I saw a warm, familiar face get up to greet me.

"Gemma darling hello, it is so good to see you again! How was your trip? Are you well?" Felicity asked.

"I am well and you" I returned trying to add some life to my speech.

"Oh just marvelous!" Felicity turns her head at Alice in the most adoring way. "Let me properly introduce you to my dear friend Alice."

"Hello Gemma, I have heard so many wonderful things about you. I hope you have a pleasant stay here." Alice said warmly.

"Yes I have been eager to see Felicity again and to meet you whom I have also heard extraordinary things about." I say smiling.

"You are too kind." She said. "How about I go get some tea for everyone?"

"Oh that would be just lovely Alice, thank you." Felicity said. Alice left the room and Felicity and I sat down on the couch.

"You and Alice seem very happy here." I say.

"Oh yes, she is perhaps the most wonderful person I've ever meet. She understands me, and loves me truly. I do not think I have felt this way since…" She stops mid-sentence and I know why, Pippa. "And life as an artist's model is quite exciting. I will have to show you some of Henry's work that he has done of me while you are here. It is quite extraordinary. But anyway, how are you _really_ doing? In your recent letters you didn't talk about you-know-who like you used to."

"Felicity…" I am stopped because all of the sudden the door opens and in steps a young man carrying a sketch pad. He starts across the room but then takes notice of me and stops and stares directly at me. I look down at my hands, embarrassed.

"Please forgive my ignorance," he says and comes over to where I am sitting and takes my hand and gives it a kiss. "Felicity would you mind introducing me to your lovely friend," he says never once breaking his gaze from me.

"Oh _do _forgive me Henry," Felicity laughs jokingly. "Miss Gemma Doyle, may I introduce you to Mr. Henry Bingly, our most talented artist."

"Pleased to make your acquaintance," he says. Henry is a rather tall man, no older than me, with a handsome face and the same bright eyes as his sister.

"Henry, I hear you are rather the most accomplished artist, and have even painted Felicity to look sweet." I say laughing and Felicity gives a haughty laugh.

"You give me too much praise," he laughs, "it is far too impossible to capture Felicity as sweet." He and I start laughing but Felicity does not seem quite as amused and I quickly compose myself.

"Alright enough laughter at my expense; Henry, don't you have some sketching to do or something?" She asks quite annoyed with him.

"Ok, ok I will leave you two to your gossip," he says with an enchanting smile and goes and sits down into a chair across from us.

"Gemma," she draws my attention away from Henry drawing to answer her inquiries. "Gemma, you never answered my question. What has been going on with you?"

"Felicity, I hardly know," my voice was no more than a whisper. "I feel everyday I am drowning and cannot get up for air."

"What are you talking about Gemma?" Felicity wondered, concerned.

I take a long pause trying to choose my words. "I…I fear I am losing him Felicity."

"Losing him?"

I look over toward where Henry sits before I answer, who is busy drawing. "Losing him, losing…Kartik. He does not come to me in my dreams as often as he used to telling me that everything was fine and that he missed me."

"Is that so bad? Do you think he may be trying to tell you something?" she asks.

"You don't understand Felicity; I am living off of those dreams. They are the last thing I have of him. If I no longer have the dreams what if something happened to him, in the Tree of All Souls?" The pain that had been dormant for months suddenly came back with the thought of him locked up in the realms.

"Well have you tried entering the realms since…well you know?"

"No, I haven't entered for two years because number one, I feel that I no longer have much magic in me. I do not feel it in me as I used to. And secondly, I am afraid." The tears start to collect in corners of my eyes and this time I do not think I can hold them back. "I am afraid that I will go back into the realms and find something different."

"Well you never know unless you try my dear Gemma. Do not worry everything will be fine." She says trying to sound encouraging but with a little bit of doubt hidden there.

And with that Alice came in with tea and biscuits but I didn't really feel like small talk, that, and I didn't think I could hold the tears back much longer. "Will you please excuse me," I whisper half crying as I leave the room in a hurry, leaving Felicity and my new friends with looks of bewilderment on their faces.

--

For some time I sit on the bench in their little garden surrounded by blooming roses, bawling. I had contained this for months, but now that all of my thoughts and feelings had finally come out I find it extremely hard to stop. If only he was here to comfort me and tell me everything was alright. There was so much that could have been said, so much that could have been done. But now he is gone because of me and I must live with the consequences of all of our actions.

"Excuse me Miss Doyle," Henry walked towards me and sits on the small bench. I look away from him, trying to wipe all of the tears from my face. "Miss Doyle, are you alright?" he asks gently.

"Yes, yes everything is fine," I lie still trying to regain composure.

"Well, you sure do not look alright Miss Doyle, and I do believe I haven an idea why." He says and pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and hands it to me.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Just open it." He commands. I unfold the paper and see something very familiar to me drawn on the paper. Seeing this brings new tears to my eyes and my heart aches and I have to put a hand over it; seeing the Tree of All Souls and the place where my one true love is forever prisoner.

"How do you know of this?" I barely manage to whisper.

"Felicity," he says smiling, "She was never one to keep her mouth shut."

"Yes, but you believe her?" I wonder.

He laughs, "Miss Doyle, I am an artist, I believe in a great many things and she can describe these "realms" so detailed it feels like I am actually there. So yes, one could say I believe her. But whether or not the drawing is a true likeness is up to you."

"Oh yes it is it. It is very beautiful thank you." I say and the tears are getting lesser and the pain in my heart duller.

"Felicity also told me of your loss. I am truly sorry." He says sincerely.

"Yes well," I sigh, "If he were here now he would tell me to stop dwelling on the past and move forward." I look everywhere but his eyes. His eyes probably have this complete look of pity on them and I do not want to see it.

"Miss Doyle,"

"Please you may call me Gemma."

"Gemma," he touches my chin and turns it toward his face to meet his eyes. "Yes you have to move forward but you cannot forget the past. The memories of your life whether they had been good or bad make up who you are. You must learn from the past; learn from your mistakes. And when you learn and overcome obstacles, it makes the good moments just that much sweeter." I do not say anything, and when I don't, he gets up and starts to walk away. But then he turns around and asks, "How long are you going to be staying here Miss Doyle."

"Gemma," I remind him. "I will be staying here for a few weeks then heading back to New York to finish my studies."

"Well then Gemma, in that time I hope we become the closest of friends." He says smiling and walks away.

I watch him leave and reflect upon all that he had said. And perhaps he was right. Maybe it is time to stop lingering on what happened and what can never be. But am I willing to?


	3. Chapter 2

**I deeply apologize for the really long break I took. But good news is, the whole story is finished and now I am going back to edit it. So hopefully it won't take me too long to get all the chapters up. Hope you enjoy!**

~**Chapter 2**~

When sleep finds me, it is full of nothing and emptiness. I awake and unknowingly tears are streaming down my cold face. I turn into my pillow and sob reminiscing in the dreamless night I just awoke from. I feel as if I am going to explode. How can he do this to me? Leave me with no sign or contact, abandon me without a goodbye. Does he not love me anymore? What if something has happened? I should have never become so dependent on those dreams and false hopes. So many thoughts race through my head that I don't even hear my door open.

"Gemma?" Felicity asks with uncertainty.

"Yes," I quietly say turning over wiping the tears from my faces trying to put Kartik in the back of my mind.

"I have wonderful news!" She immediately perks up realizing I'm more or less alright. "I've just received a letter from Ann!"

"What does it say Fee?" I ask curiously.

"She is coming to Paris with her acting troupe," Felicity scans the letter for only the important details. "Her arrival is expected to be in about a week and she cannot wait to see us!"

"She knew I was in Paris?" I question.

"Of course, I wrote her a letter awhile ago telling her of your coming."

"Oh it will be so good to have us all together again." I say happily even putting my heartache on pause.

"We have also received an invitation for Friday night to go to a ball of one of Henry's most esteemed buyer's Monsieur DeBurg. We will take you of course. Will you please come?" she begs.

I do not have the heart to tell her I would rather not, so I try to tell her the most believable excuse I can think of, "Fee, you know I would love to but I did not bring my best with me. And besides, it's only a few days away. I couldn't possibly find a gown in time." I say sadly but sounding fake.

"Oh Gemma you should know me better than that." She gave me a stern look. "I promise you that I will be able to find you a dress by tonight. We shall leave at once. Alice will love to come and help as well. You need to see Paris sometime anyway, right?" she says smiling. I give her a false smile; I really do not feel like going to a ball. "Well I will leave you to get dressed. Oh I am so excited; a ball and our dear Ann coming!" She gets up from the corner of my bed and walks out of the room and once again I am alone.

As soon as I am finished getting ready, I take my time walking down the stairs when I run into Henry, his arms full of art utensils.

"Going somewhere Gemma?" he asks cheerfully.

"Yes, Felicity and your dear sister are practically dragging me by the neck to go dress shopping." I say with a sound of mock horror in my voice.

"What a terrible fate. I will surely pray for you life." He chuckles.

"Yes please do." I give a weak smile and start down the rest of the stairs.

I feel his watch as I descend and he calls out, "Hope you have a good day Gemma." I turn around and give a small smile then go on my way to meet my doom of looking for a dress.

---------

Throughout the entire ride through Paris, Felicity would not be quiet. She would prattle on about this street and that garden, and where the best tea can be found. I tried with all my might just to block out her nonsense and just enjoy the surrounding atmosphere. We pass by the Eiffel Tower and what a magnificent sight it is, with its enormous height and never ending lattices of metal. It must have taken a great deal of planning to complete its construction. Before I know it we have reached our destination and despite my resentment I am forced to go inside.

The dressmaker's shop is a rather interesting sight to see with its many dresses of all colors and fabrics. Felicity goes straight to a long white dress with copious amounts of lace and all I can pray is that she means that hideous dress for herself.

"Gemma, what do you think about this one? I think it should look rather nice on you, don't you?" she asks. I really wonder if she has lost sanity since she has become an "artist's model."

"Fee, really do you want me to look like I'm headed for the altar!" I protest.

"Fine, fine, we will just have to look harder to _please_ you apparently." She grumbles. "Alice why don't you help us find something."

"Of course," she says with a huge grin that almost looks evil. "I will find you a beautiful dress won't I Gemma?" she asks. All I give out is a nervous smile because I have seen the way Alice has dressed, and it is always on the ridiculous side; with ribbons and lace. Hopefully, no one will be able to find anything I will be able to stay at the house as I wanted to begin with.

"Gemma, you actually need to help us look." Felicity blatantly states. So I defiantly walk around the store "trying" to find a dress to wear. When I give up, I go back near the front of the store to wait for Felicity and Alice.

"Oh Gemma there you are! I found the perfect dress for you." Alice says merrily. I look at the dress she holds up and I just stare at it. As I said before she dresses pretty ridiculous, and this dress was no exception. It was bright red, with enormous ribbons, I believe everywhere except for on the hem.

"Alice, I appreciate your effort but…" I say as nicely as I can. Thankfully Felicity comes hurrying back saying she has found the one.

"Gemma, you have to look at this dress. I think this is the one." I give her a sarcastic look, "No I really mean it Gemma; you will die when you see it." She brings me to the back of the store and on a mannequin there is the most gorgeous dress I have ever seen. Felicity was right. It was a rich blue silk dress with a reasonable sized black velvet bow that tied in the back, with a rather bold cut in the front may I add. Felicity urged me to try it on and it was perfect.

"Gemma, you look stunning." Alice says.

"She's looks more than stunning, she looks beautiful!" Felicity adds.

"Have we found the one?" the old dressmaker asks.

"Yes, we certainly have." I say. I hate to admit it, but even I am excited for this ball now.

--------

Those couple days until the Friday of the ball went quickly. Felicity and Alice spirited me all around the magnificent city, taking me from one tea house to the next, one dress shop to another hat shop. My days were never dull or quiet so my mind was eased a bit from the lurking pain in my heart. On Thursday Henry escorted me to the Louvre, how splendid that was to see. It was exhilarating to see all the different paintings, depicting so many scenes, from battles, to portraits, to religious scenes. Henry made sure to explain almost every one and find some deeper meaning in them. He is such a passionate man, full of promise and hope, eager to share all of his thoughts and secrets with one willing to listen.

Among the Greek sculptures we came upon one of Cupid reaching down to take his pure, beautiful love Psyche in his alabaster arms, probably trying to wake her from her long slumber and take her to Olympus where they would be united in immortality.

"Their story has always remained one of my favorites," Henry states. "There is just something about it that draws me to it. Maybe it's the way Psyche loves Cupid without even seeing what he looks like. I mean he could have been a six-headed monster and she didn't care." For a moment my mind flashed to Kartik and how he was my unseen love for some time but now has disappeared all together leaving me with emptiness. However, I repressed the thought quickly.

"But she did end up caring," I chuckle. "Her sisters' jealousy got the better of her and she ruined her perfect happiness by checking to see her husband's face."

"True," Henry mused. "But in the end everything turned out perfect and they lived happily ever after." Henry displayed a giant smile across his face.

"But when do such endings ever exist," I counterattacked.

Henry lowered his head with a small laugh and then looked me dead in the face, serious with sincerity in his eyes, "When you let them exist my dear Gemma."

-------

The night of the ball comes quickly and we are all thrilled, for we have not attended a huge ball like this since our days back at Spence. As soon as I am ready, I head down stairs and found everyone waiting for me.

"Gemma, you look absolutely amazing!" Felicity states. Henry quickly rose from where he was seated and studied me up and down briefly and then caught my gaze. I quickly avert my eyes at the floor with a bright blush on my face I'm sure. Henry took a few steps closer, took my hand, and gave it a kiss, lingering longer than expected.

"You are completely breathtaking Gemma." He whispered in my ear.

"Henry, you are most kind," I smiled, "and you look quite handsome yourself."

"Well if we are done with the fake compliments for my brother," Alice jokes, "then we must be going. We shan't like to be late now." Henry offers me his arm and leads me out into the cold night.

--------

When we arrive at Monsieur DeBurg's house, should I say mansion, it is one of the grandest spectacles I have ever seen. Inside is no difference. The whole place just seems to radiate beams of wealth and splendor. There are people dancing, drinking, eating, and just enjoying life. Henry breaks away from my arm to greet a stocky short man

"It is wonderful to see you again Monsieur DeBurg." Henry says. Ah so this is the wonderful Monsieur DeBurg. From what I can see I can find nothing too wonderful about him. He is not what you would consider handsome, and the years must not have been kind to the Monsieur even though he could not be more than fifteen years older than me.

"Great to see you again Henry," DeBurg said in a heavy French accent. "Hello again Miss Worthington, Miss Bingly." He nods. "Now who is this enchanting lady that stands before me?" DeBurg asks.

"This is Miss Gemma Doyle, she is an old school mate of Felicity's and is here visiting us from New York." Henry curtly states.

"New York, eh? Well it is the greatest pleasure to make your acquaintance Miss Doyle." He says in an almost sinister tone and kisses my hand, his short hairs of his moustache prickling my hand. I look out of the corner of my eye and see Henry's jaw tighten. Monsieur DeBurg then directs his attention once again toward Henry asking, "So how is the painting coming along Henry?"

"It is going quite well, thank you for asking. I might have a piece you are interested in." He says but then is interrupted by DeBurg.

"You should try painting this beautiful lady sometime, no?" He laughs making me blush uncomfortably. Henry looks as if he has been insulted.

"Brother, why don't we go dance," says an eager Alice. Henry looks to me for a moment as if he is trying to debate over some internal conflict. Then he nods reluctantly and takes his sister's arm and leads her to the dance floor.

"Miss Doyle, would you do me the honor of dancing with me?" DeBurg asks.

"Monsieur DeBurg, that is a most gracious offer, but I cannot leave my dear Felicity all by her lonesome." I state, giving a plausible excuse.

"Oh I will be fine Gemma. You go dance with Monsieur. She gives me a look of sympathy as I glare at her, and goes off to the refreshments area.

"Well than Miss Doyle?" he asks again offering his hand out to me. I reluctantly take it and he takes me to the dance floor.

I cannot say that DeBurg is a terrible dancer; it's just that it seems he has two left feet. He twirls me around stiffly and roughly. "Miss Doyle, if it is not too bold to say I think you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen." He daringly says.

"Again Monsieur you are much too kind." I state while trying not to get trampled by his awkward feet. He draws me closer to him which I feel most uncomfortable about. I try to somehow widen the gap again but with no avail. I turn my head and find Henry glaring over at us, rather at Monsieur DeBurg. Clearly Henry is not taking lightly to heart at what he sees. Thankfully the song ends before DeBurg can say something too forward again. As soon as he bows to me Henry is by my side before Monsieur DeBurg can once again ask me.

"Miss Doyle, may I have the pleasure?" Henry sweetly asks but with a hind of agitation.

"Yes you may." I give him an irresistible smile. Henry puts his hand on my waist and his other takes my hand in his. Henry is most graceful on the dance floor; he would probably sweep any woman off of her feet. I turn to glance at Henry and he looks troubled. "Is something wrong Henry?" I ask.

"I don't like the way he looks at you." He says harshly.

"The way who looks at me?" I wonder.

"You know perfectly well who I'm talking about, _Monsieur DeBurg_." He says his name as if he had a bad taste in his mouth. "He looks at you like you are some priceless piece of art that he must own."

"He is just being friendly is he not?" I ask while trying to concentrate on the movements of the dance. With Henry, I find it hard to be graceful compared to his intuitive fluidity.

"Being friendly? That is surely what DeBurg is best at." He harshly laughs.

"What are you talking about? I thought he was one of your best buyers and you respected him?"

"Do not get me wrong, of course I enjoy his business but he has a reputation of getting to friendly, as you said, with beautiful women." Henry warns.

"Well you won't have that problem with me." I mumble.

"Miss Doyle what on earth are you talking about? You are the most wonderful, beautiful young lady I have ever known. You do not just have a pretty face, but you also have charm, wit, and you are just overall enchanting." He assures me, making me blush.

"Mr. Bingly, all I meant was that I could probably fend for myself if he ever tried to take advantage of me. I mean, he is rather short." I smile and Henry head drops in embarrassment.

"I don't know if you really could when it came down to it." He states, returning to a serious tone.

"What are you implying?" I ask, my temper rising.

"I do not mean to offend; its just he does box as a small pastime and could easily pin you down." He warns.

"Mr. Bingly, I am not the weak girl everyone seems to think I am now. I can very well take care of myself." And with that I break away from his hold. Henry gives me a small bow but I ignore it. I briskly walk as far away from him and find Felicity and Alice talking to the ever popular Monsieur DeBurg.

"Ah Gemma, there you are," Felicity smiles.

"Miss Doyle, Felicity was just telling me that you used to live in India yes?" DeBurg asks curiously.

"That is right Monsieur; I lived there until I was sixteen." The thought of my mother finds its way back into my thoughts. I would have never known the great power I held if it hadn't been for her. I do miss her terribly and sometimes wish she was still here. But I know if she was still alive, I would have probably never done the things I did; my life would be a completely different story.

"I have a couple paintings of India that Henry painted when he spent some time down there." DeBurg states.

"Henry was in India?" I question.

"Oh yes, Henry spent a few months there. He went through a phase when he traveled all over the world." Alice confirms.

"What are the paintings of Monsieur?" I wonder.

"Well why don't you come see them for yourself Miss Doyle," DeBurg insists.

"I would love to, thank you Monsieur." I state.

"Ladies," he turns to Felicity and Alice, "will you come too?" he asks but almost as if he does not want them to come.

"We've already seen the paintings, so I think we will skip seeing them this time, right Alice?" Alice nods. "Besides, I haven't had my full share of dancing tonight but thank you though for your offer Monsieur." Felicity says as sweetly as it is humanly possible for her.

"Shall we then Miss?" DeBurg persuasively asks. I nod but not before I remembered Henry's warning about him.

--------

Monsieur DeBurg led me upstairs into a dark room filled with books which I understood to be the library. I stopped in front of one of Henry's paintings. It was of the Taj Mahal. The painting was so realistic and breathtaking. I never realized how talented Henry was.

"Breathtaking, isn't it." DeBurg implies.

"Yes very beautiful indeed."

"Not as beautiful as you though." He daringly declares and brushes a finger down the side of my neck. I quickly walk to the next painting, ignoring his unwelcomed touch. The next painting was of an Indian market, much like the ones that I used to go to with my mother. But I found it very hard to concentrate on the painting with DeBurg's steps getting closer to me. I turned swiftly around to find him inches from my face.

"You are something else Miss Doyle. Your presence is so intoxicating. I love it."

"Please," I beg stepping away from him. But he comes even closer. He cups his hand around the back of my neck and kisses me. I quickly break from it and push him away. I run for the door but Monsieur DeBurg grabs me by the wrist and pushes me against the wall. I try with all my strength to get him off of me but he will not budge. He starts to kiss me everywhere, my face, neck, shoulders. All I want to do is scream but cannot. He places a hand over my mouth and slides the sleeves of my dress off of my shoulders. I still try to escape by hammering my fists into his chest. Nothing works, and slowly my strength diminishes. Everything flashes before my eyes. Thoughts of Henry race through my head. I'm sure he will ever so glad that he was right. Monsieur DeBurg now lifts up my dress and all I think is _Oh God this is it._ I clamp my eyes shut hoping it will all go away. Then everything has stopped. I no longer feel his weight on me and his disgusting touch. I open my eyes and see DeBurg on the floor holding his bloody nose. I look to my right and see Henry taking into consideration what he had just done. Henry then grabs me by the arm and hurries me to the door.

"That was a big mistake Mr. Bingly." DeBurg shouts. "You will never have my business again so long as you live! Miss Doyle," he screams, "Remember, I always get what I want, always." That was the last I heard because Henry was practically running me down the stairs.

Once we are back into the ballroom Henry suddenly stops and jerks my arm, "Are you alright? Did he…?" He quickly asks.

"No, he didn't…just please take me home," I said, shameful.

"Of course, of course. Let me just go tell Felicity and Alice I am taking you home because you feel ill." He looks at me with those eyes full of pity and I try to look away. He grabs my face and commands, "Stay here until I get back alright?" I nod and then he runs off to find Felicity and Alice.

It is not until he has left me that I realize that I am uncontrollably shaking. I look for any sign that my attacker was coming back to get me. I continuously search and all I see is a blur of colors and the sounds of laughter from the guests, for my eyes are once again filled with tears. A few moments later someone grabbed my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I quickly turned around and I thankfully saw Henry standing before me. "It's just me," he said. Henry took my arm and swiftly escorted me out of the ball. Outside he quickly found a coach and ushered me inside.

--------

The ride home was in complete dead silence, and not until Henry had me through the door and seated in the parlor did we speak.

"Gemma, are you alright? Did he hurt you in anyway? Because if he did I will…" he started to shout.

"Really I'm fine." I interrupt. "I'm just a little shook up that's all."

"Are you sure?" he asked again, more sincere.

"Yes, but I'm sure you are happy aren't you?" I say coldly remembering what he said to me earlier.

"Why would I be happy?" he asks confused.

"You said I wouldn't be able to defend myself and I couldn't."

"I didn't mean to offend you Gemma." he compassionately says. "Everyone needs help sometimes, even you."

"Henry?" I asked.

"Yes Gemma, do you need anything?" Now he was just getting overexcited.

"No…no," I stammer, "but I was wondering if you really meant what you said to me tonight."

"What did I say?" He questions.

"The part where you said I was beautiful and enchanting, and that you cared for me." I blushed looking embarrassed.

Henry kneeled at where I was sitting, took my hands in his and said, "Of course I meant it. Every single word I said. You are all of those things and more. I care deeply for you Gemma." He caressed my cheek with the back of his hand. I closed my eyes and silent tears streamed down my face. Whether they were tears of joy or of sorrow I will never know. I have waited so long for someone to be here, to tell me they care for me, and what if I have feelings for him back. Then thoughts of Kartik came into my head. Why should I care if this makes Kartik upset? He left me and now I am living the life I would have led if I had never met him. The sadder this makes me the angrier I become at Kartik. If he truly loved me he would have given me more signs that everything was fine. So why should my faith towards him continue?

"Kiss me," I challenge Henry. He comes close to me but then hesitates. I encourage him by moving myself closer and he complies this time. His lips are so warm against my cold ones. He lingers for a moment then pulls away but I do not let him. He kisses me again and again until I have lost count. But I do not care. I have abandoned all thought and reason behind me and "moved forward" just as _he_ wanted me to.


End file.
